A Slow Burning Fire Page 13
Bryce clapped a hand on her back and went about getting the necessary details from the store clerk. She was smiling, but her whole body was shaking. What if the town thought she was only trying to show off some more? Her performing in a talent show would attract local and statewide media attention. Bryce doing it with her could possibly bring in national broadcasters and photographers. The last time the paparazzi had come to Gloriana, the town treated her and her family coldly. Arial wouldn't be there much longer, but it was still her family's home. She didn't want them to suffer on account of her.
****
Once Bryce acquired the phone number for the contest organizer, he led the way out of the store. He noticed Arial was shivering despite the heat of a rather gorgeous summer day. Frowning, he put his arms around her, holding her from behind, to offer up as much warmth as he could provide. Perhaps even comfort because he wasn't so sure she was shivering because of the temperature.
“Let's go to the grocery store,” he suggested. “You said you needed to pick up a few things from there. Mama Henderlite asked me to grab some stuff for her, too. We should also get something to celebrate with.”
They walked into the grocery store, and he smiled as the scent of fresh produce filled his nostrils. He grabbed a cart for them to share. Shopping for food had been one of his favorite pastimes with his mother, back when he was younger. Getting to do it with Arial brought back a lot of the same sensations of warm security he tried to hold onto from his past. With how quaint and laid back the town was, that added to the moment. The aisles in the store were a bit more cramped than what he remembered back in California, and that detail alone made the store all the more charming.
She looked up at him with slightly wide eyes, as though she were lost. The raw emotions she presented to him were too much to take at times. When she was in any kind of distress, the only thing he wanted to do was fix things and make her sure of herself again. She deserved that just as much as anyone else. Every time she mentioned anyone giving her grief for being herself and pursuing the desires of her heart, he had to push aside his anger. Who were they to crush the dreams of such an amazing young woman? What made her unworthy of having those desires come to pass?
****
Arial took in a deep breath, determined to calm herself. “What are we celebrating exactly?”
“Being passionate again,” he said. “There's something special about remembering why you love something. Don't you think?”
“Yes,” she agreed. She felt it all the time every moment the two of them spent together. Each day she learned something new about him and fell harder. Did he even realize she thought about him that way? She picked up the spaghetti noodles she would need for her dinner and glanced up at him.
Clearing her throat, Arial decided to take a leap. “I was thinking tonight we could do dinner.” Hopefully, it came off as casual and not desperate. He smiled at her in response. That had to be a good sign. They continued to gather up everything they needed.
“I like dinner. It is one of my favorite things to do. Being with you would be an added bonus,” he said.
“Then I'll cook something up, and you can come by around six.”
They pushed up to a cashier, and she started to unload the cart. When she noticed how Bryce wasn't helping, she was a little taken aback. He was always a gentleman. What was wrong? When she noticed how pale and expressionless his face had become, she knew her worries weren't unfounded.
****
“Katie Daniels finds new love with Hunter Riley. Details on their secret five-month affair on page fifty-two.” The headline was in big bold letters over a picture of Katie, Bryce's ex-girlfriend, locking lips with her rather dreamy co-star from her new movie. They were in Hawaii, wearing bathing suits, and looking awfully comfortable with one another. Too comfortable for his taste, and it disgusted him. Dirty was the other feeling to wash over him, because it didn't take rocket science for him to put together the obvious.
“She cheated on me,” he whispered. His hands clenched at his side for a second before he decided to help Arial unload the cart.
Arial's eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
He tossed a copy of the magazine onto the counter. “She cheated on me.” And sure enough, underneath the huge picture and headline was a small image of him drunk from the after party. “Bryce Valentine's reaction and heartbreaking plea.”
Arial picked up the magazine. “Don't believe this filth. You know better than that.”
“It makes sense.” Things had been different for a while. Her seeing another man might have been the reason behind the distance between them. He shook his head. “I don't want to talk about this here. I shouldn't have brought it up.”
She touched his arm gently. “You don't have to apologize. We can talk about it more over dinner and —”
“No,” he said. “Let's wait on that. Rain check for tomorrow night or something.” His stomach was in too many knots to even think about eating. “I need to go back home and think about all of this for tonight. We'll talk about it all tomorrow. I promise.”
****
Defeated, Arial nodded. “Okay, tomorrow. When you say home, you mean… here, right? At the Henderlites’, not L.A.?”
“Yeah, here. Home,” he said.
She let out a sigh of relief. “Tomorrow.” But all of the courage she had mustered up for her date was now gone. Clearly, he was still in love with Katie.
Chapter Fourteen
Bryce knew it was a bad idea, but he bought the magazine and read through the entire article — three times. He found every detail, analyzed it, and tried to sort through the facts and the exaggerations. One thing he knew for certain: if he didn't call Katie and talk to her, he would never know anything.
He swallowed, picking up his cell phone so he could dial her number. Practicality kept it in his address book even though the first thing he had wanted to do was delete it from his memory. When the breakup had first happened, he’d called her at least once a day trying to find answers. Bryce finally realized he wouldn't be getting any after about a week of vague and cryptic statements and rushed conversations. Almost two months had passed, so maybe she would finally be ready to give them to him.
Eyes closed, he selected her name on the screen and listened to the sound of ringing from the other line. Slow, deep breaths. Remember to breathe. Don't let her own you.
It took less time than he thought for her to pick up.
“B-Bryce, hi,” she said. It amazed him at how strange it was to hear her voice again, something he used to live for. A lot had changed in a short time.
He took his time answering, so he could find the best way to word everything without letting his anger take over. “Hi.”
“What's going on? I mean, why did you call? Not that I don't mind hearing from you, but we haven't spoken for a while, so I'm a little surprised. Our last conversation didn’t go too well either.”
“I don't think this one is going to go much better,” he mumbled.
She didn't say anything for a few seconds. “Look, you'll always have a special place in my heart, but I meant it when I said this isn't going to work out and —”
“No,” he said sharply. “I've come to the same conclusion you have. After our last talk, I realized that our relationship wasn't exactly healthy, let alone all too loving. It should have ended a while ago. I guess what I want to know is, why didn't it? Especially since you've apparently been screwing around behind my back.”
“So you saw the magazine… that's what this is about.”
“It's about getting what I need so I can move on with my life. You know I hate being surrounded by questions. Please, just tell me the truth. You've moved on, and you owe it to me to do the same without all of these unresolved cliffhangers.” He exhaled slowly. “Is it true? What the tabloid said, I mean. Have you been seeing him for five months?”
Katie sighed. “Yes, it's true. Yes, we should have broken up a while ago. For some reaso
n, I couldn't quite let you go. You're special to me. You always will be.”
“I loved you.” Had that meant nothing to her? Being special, important to someone, was not the same as true, real love. Why hadn't he seen it before? Why did he have to let himself be so blind?
“I know you loved me. I never could figure out why exactly. Maybe that's why things never got to blossom in the way they should have. I never believed it was possible, not until now at least. Hunter has taught me a lot of things.”
Bryce squeezed his eyes shut, his heart beginning to pound in his chest and an angry pit forming in his stomach. “So you led me on. Why? Just so you could feel good about yourself? All of this time you've been interested, falling for another guy, but stringing me along enough to keep me around. Why? For your own sense of security? I just don't understand it. Are you that selfish that you couldn't have the decency to dump me before hopping into bed with another guy?”
“I didn't think it would last for long,” she said, her voice quavering. In the past, he'd always hated it when she cried. At that moment, he was glad she felt the same kind of pain he did. What she said next floored him. “None of the others went beyond a week or two. This one wasn't supposed to last for that long either.”
“There have been others?” he managed to choke out, shock stiffening his body and making him numb inside and out.
She squeaked out something that resembled “uh huh” but didn't say anything more. Not for a long while that felt like five minutes, but in actuality had only been about thirty seconds. “I was so scared of you hating me. Losing you has been hard, so hard. There are so many things I miss about us, but I don't love you in the way that I should to continue on in a relationship. You were my first love, too. If I couldn't make things work with you, after so long, how could I make them work with anyone else? I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“So you cheated on me, repeatedly, until you found your security blanket elsewhere?”
“You used me as a crutch just as much as I did you,” she snapped.
“I didn't cheat on you!”
“You might as well have!”
His eyes narrowed as a quiet growl escaped his lips. “What are you talking about?”
“I notice things. Ever since your mom died, you got closer to Arial and further away from me,” she said. “It bothered me a lot that you wouldn't confide in me, but you would her. When she turned eighteen, you started looking at her differently, too. I'm surprised you stayed with me when you could have been with your best friend. You always did tell her more than you ever did me.”
Groaning softly, Bryce ran a hand through his hair. “Like I said, I loved you. All that mattered to me for the longest time was your happiness. You never acted like that was good enough, but I kept trying anyway. As for telling her more…” He shook his head, unsure of how true the accusation was. “I didn't want to bother you, and you never wanted to talk to me about any of that… not really. That wasn't anything I resented you for, either, for the record. There are some things that are hard to talk about, and my mom is one of them.”
He didn't even remember talking to Arial too much about the details of his mother's death. Somehow she knew and understood all the same. She had some kind of sixth sense when it came to him. So much of what he felt was regret, whenever he thought about his mother. If he could have done more for her, then maybe the divide in his family wouldn't have been so large. It might have ruined his career, but he could have stayed home and done his share of caring for her. He'd been so focused on getting her money to pay for the bills that he missed out on a lot of crucial moments. When it came time to say goodbye, he needed more memories with her. Nothing would have been enough for him, though.
Katie huffed. “Fine. I can accept that, I guess, but I still notice things. Are you with her now? Is that where you've disappeared to? Because nobody in California has seen or heard anything from either of you. Are you two shacking up now?”
“Excuse me?” He blinked, startled by the outburst. “Yes, we're hanging out. We aren't in California, which is probably why no one has seen us. She invited me back to her hometown so I could get some air after everything you've done. If I was back home right now, I'd be getting slammed with phone calls and attacked by photogs. I needed space. The farm is a good place to get it.”
“The farm?” Katie laughed. “This I want to see. You, on a farm.”
He rolled his eyes. “It's not as crazy as you think. As for your other question, no, we aren't shacking up. I respect her as well as love her.”
“So you do love her…”
“You know what I mean,” he mumbled.
She sighed. “I do, but I think you know, too, there's more than just friendship going on.”
Bryce didn't say anything, knowing any words he uttered would be a defensive lie. She was right; there was more going on, but it wasn't as malicious as she was painting it either. The feelings he had for Arial had always been present but buried. He'd only begun entertaining the thought of being with her once they arrived in Ohio.
“I want you to be happy like I am, so it's okay,” Katie added.
“Thank you for being honest with me,” he said.
“Thank you for calling. I needed this, too. I was just too afraid to do it,” Katie said. Her voice was barely audible on the other end.
Slowly, he drew in a deep breath and then exhaled. “Goodbye, Katie.”
Bryce doubted she would understand the true meaning of his words. All he knew for certain was that he had to cut her out of his life for good. Despite the good times they’d had with each other, there was no trust between them. Even as friends, he would have a hard time believing anything she told him. They had truly grown too far apart. He didn't recognize her, and he doubted she recognized him.
He laughed a little. I barely recognize myself. Who am I kidding? So much had changed in just a month without her, most of it for the better. The pain of the breakup had been almost unbearable initially, but the time apart had stitched up his broken and bleeding heart. At first, he was afraid that talking to Katie would rip it open again. Oddly, the conversation had the opposite effect. Rather than hurting more, his entire body relaxed. A tension in his chest that had persisted since the breakup was now loosened. He was free of Katie.
“I didn't do right by her, did I?” he asked the empty room. Secretly, he hoped that maybe his mother would appear before him with all of the answers in some kind of ghostly vision. That wasn't reality, however. He was on his own. It was time for him to face all of his mistakes, for better or worse. Katie had done wrong by him when she cheated and lied, but he had done wrong also when he lied to himself about his real feelings.
He shouldn't have stayed, that much was certain. Thinking about how much time he had wasted because of fear made him feel pathetic. It was all too reminiscent of his family. Who was he to tell Arial to go forth boldly and make amends when he was terrified of doing the same? I have to start doing the right thing. Calling up his brother and father to apologize for aggravating the distance would be too easy a thing for him to do, however. Somehow he had to make things right. Not only for his mother, but for himself as well. He needed his family, now more than ever.
Hesitantly he pulled out his phone, ready to take a step forward and call, but he chickened out. Instead he sent a text message to his brother, Riley: I’m sorry. If his brother wanted him to elaborate, he'd be more than happy to, but he didn't want to push it. His brother was too temperamental.
Restless, Bryce got up from his bed and grabbed his laundry basket. Mrs. Henderlite had a tendency to come into his room while he was out and do it for him during the days. The small pile he had was only the outfit he had worn for the day before changing into something he could sleep in. There wasn't enough to warrant doing a load of laundry, but he could find something else to throw into the washing machine if need be. Between three people, there had to be dirty towels or something.
Sure enough, in a ne
arby hamper were some dirty jeans and fuzzy floor mats he stuck into the wash with the rest of his clothes. The distraction was nice to have. Unfortunately for him, it was also short lived.
“Bryce, honey, why are you doing the wash so late?” Mrs. Henderlite asked, entering the room.
He shrugged. “Just felt like it.”
Mrs. Henderlite seemed to have a good read on him, because she frowned. No matter how many times he'd tried to pretend everything was fine, she was always able to see through it when he wasn't. Which didn't happen often. Ohio generally left him as a happy-go-lucky person. She'd barely known him for a month, and he could already tell the two of them would have a lifelong relationship. In a lot of ways, she and her husband were like his parents before cancer had destroyed his family. His heart sank a little. He didn't want a replacement family. Would it be possible for him to adopt them but also keep his own?
“Something is troubling you,” Mrs. Henderlite said.
“Yeah,” he admitted.
She walked up to him and gave him the biggest hug he'd gotten in a long time. Her small frame wrapped around his, and she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “Come and eat the dinner you skipped earlier and tell me all about it.”
“Okay,” he said, half smiling.
Part of him wanted to fight her on it, but he knew he'd never win. Not only was his stomach grumbling, but he got the feeling she was more stubborn and wouldn't back down. It was his own fault. He'd opted out of eating dinner and gone straight to his room to focus on the tabloid article. He’d also had to kill time until he could call Katie. She was still in Hawaii and several hours behind him. As mad as he was at her, he didn't want to inconvenience her while she was working either. At the time, his appetite had been gone. With the dust beginning to settle, he knew he needed to eat something. Some wisdom might be helpful to him as well.