A Slow Burning Fire Page 8

  Bryce liked living at the Henderlite residence. Mr. and Mrs. Henderlite reminded him so much of what his parents were like back when his mother had been healthy. They were older, but they had the affection and devotion of a young couple just discovering love. Many small kisses were shared in his presence, along with tender touches. He'd always wanted a relationship like that. Where no matter how much time had passed, the love never ever lessened. With Katie, if the gesture hadn't been grand, she hadn't seen it. Bryce, however, was a firm believer that the smallest moments were often the ones that counted the most.

  He watched Mr. and Mrs. Henderlite wash the dishes together at the sink. The radio was playing smooth jazz, and Bryce felt an awful lot like a third wheel. It was a good thing he was on his way out the door to meet up with Arial. Usually at around eight every night he went to his bedroom to unwind before going to sleep. Getting himself up before dawn and working during the early hours took a lot out of him. Rather than take a nap in the afternoon, he spent it with Arial or her brother. By the time the sun went down, he was also ready for bed.

  Even though he was exhausted, he was determined to go over to Arial's house. He craved time with her. It didn't matter what they were doing together; he wanted to make sure they were in fact together. He'd scooped out the stable for her sister's horse just because she had been within twenty feet of him. When they weren't together, Bryce noticed how much he was thinking about her anyway. He wondered what she was doing and how she was feeling. She was so close to him that he could easily check in on her any time he wanted to, but fear kept him from pestering her constantly. Hopefully she didn't think of their time together as annoying. Part of what made it so great was she seemed to be more relaxed and calm. They didn't have to say a word or do anything together. Being in her presence was more than enough to satisfy him.

  I'm getting it bad for her. The more I try to stop myself from feeling so deeply for her, the more difficult it is, he realized. How was it possible for him to have missed his soul mate when she was right under his nose the whole time? Why did he have to let himself be so blindly devoted to a woman he knew was bad for him? Being stubborn might have destroyed his chances at having real happiness. Love was much more complicated than any movie or story depicted. Everywhere he looked, it seemed easier than it actually was. Easy would be a lot more preferable. His mom had always told him that anything worth having was something that needed to be earned through work. Love must have fallen into that category.

  Bryce knew how to be patient. With Katie, he had been nothing but patient while he waited to see if she would ever want to settle down. With Arial, however, he would have to wait for the right moment to open her eyes to the possibility of them ever being more than friends. The thought still scared him, because if she didn't feel the same way, he would not only have to start from scratch, but he would also lose his best friend. She'd been so angry with him for doing her chores, which surprised him, since he'd done far more offensive things to her in the past that had been glossed over.

  I'll find out tonight. Because what he was looking forward to most about the evening was finally getting a chance to talk. There were so many questions he had about her family and her new attitude. Ohio made them both different people. He could tell he had changed over the past handful of days, though his changes were more subtle than hers. Arial was on edge, and he wanted to know why.

  Quietly, he tied the laces on his shoes, not wanting to disrupt the romantic moments the Henderlites were having.

  Mr. Henderlite noticed anyway. “You're goin' out tonight. This is new.”

  “I'm meeting up with Arial. She has something to show me,” Bryce said.

  “So long as this date doesn't go down the path mine did when the missus had to show me something interestin'. Have a good time.”

  Mrs. Henderlite nudged her husband. “Don’t talk to him like he's a kid, Larry. I'm sure he knows what is and isn't appropriate. Besides, I think you're gettin' your dates mixed up. That night happened long after we were married.”

  “Being old is hard, Bryce. Enjoy your youth,” Mr. Henderlite said.

  Bryce chuckled. “I plan on it.” He then added for Mrs. Henderlite's peace of mind, “We're just going to talk. It's not even a date. Our relationship isn't like that.”

  “Yet,” Mr. Henderlite added. “I know you're thinkin' it. Otherwise you wouldn't spend every waking moment over there.”

  “I am thinking about it, yes,” he confessed. “But there are a lot of complicated factors to weigh. The main one being my ex and whether or not it's too soon to be in another relationship.”

  “Are you still in love with your ex?” Mrs. Henderlite asked.

  Bryce glanced over at her, a little taken aback by the question. Did he still love Katie? Of all the questions he'd asked himself, that one hadn't crossed his mind once. He shrugged. “No, I can't say that I am. Not like I thought I was, at least. But that's what makes it complicated. There are a lot of emotions flying around to sort through.”

  Mrs. Henderlite laughed, although Bryce didn't think anything was all that funny. “Bryce, honey, you're overanalyzing it. If you don't love your ex, then it's not too soon to move on. The fact that you don't act like some kind of a wounded puppy dog is a pretty good sign you're not livin' in denial, too. For a guy who's been dumped by his first love, you seem to be taking it awfully well.”

  “Because I don't miss her in the ways I thought I would,” he said. “Just because I'm not lingering in the past and longing for something lost doesn't mean Arial is ready, though. The last thing I want to do is mess this up. I need to make sure she believes me. Taking our time and waiting for the right moment is more important to me than confessing everything in a crazy whirl of emotions.”

  “You don't want to get burned again, but some burns are good to have.”

  Bryce looked at the clock. “I need to go, or I'm going to be late. Don't feel like you need to wait up for me.”

  He winked, teasing them. The night could be a long one, but that was all dependent on how much talking they did. When given the opportunity, he and Arial could go on for hours and not even realize that much time had passed. There would be a lot to say tonight. With a slight wave, he headed out the door.

  The jog to Arial's house took him about five minutes. He tried to keep it as leisurely as possible. Showing up at her doorstep sweaty and gross didn't seem like a good idea. The desire to be near her again, however, propelled him forward at a faster pace than he had intended. Before he knocked on her front door, he gave himself a moment to catch his breath and make himself presentable.

  ****

  Arial answered the door when she heard the knock. She made sure to be quick about it so no one in the house had any idea there was a guest around. A smile formed on her lips when she saw Bryce. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her quickly.

  “Are you ready to be amazed?” she asked. They walked along the side of the house to the garage where she stopped briefly to grab a blanket for them to sit on.

  “I'm curious, that's for sure,” he said.

  She brought him out to the pond and spread the blanket out over the grass. Carefully, she lay down on it. Rather than join her, Bryce stared down at her. He scratched his chin as he did, and she wondered what his hang-up was.

  “I'm not going to bite you,” she said, propping herself up onto her elbows.

  “Wasn't too worried about getting bitten,” he said. Finally, he sat down on the blanket, his green eyes still settled on her. “So what do you have to show me?”

  Arial rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the shirt. She tugged him down to the blanket so he lay next to her. “You have to be able to look up. Just wait for it to get dark.”

  “Okay…”

  The sun was still setting. One of the things Arial loved about summer was its long days. Early sunrises and late sunsets were even more wonderful to enjoy out in the country. The city could be beautiful as well. When the sun went down at just t
he right angle, downtown Los Angeles glowed like fire. On the farm, the expanse of nothing but land and sky created a feeling of never-ending peace. Almost as if the land was separated from the rest of the world. In a lot of ways it was isolating.

  “I know I've said it before, but I think it needs to be repeated: the accent you have is awesome,” he said.

  Arial scowled and took extra care to speak in the standard dialect she'd learned in her acting classes. When he pointed it out to her, it made her awfully self-conscious. “Awesome wasn't the word you used last time. I believe you said cute.”

  “Cute, awesome, aren't they the same thing?”

  “No.”

  He tapped his fingers to his mouth for a moment. “You're right, they aren't, but neither is a bad thing. I'm kind of jealous, to be honest.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Why? You want to sound like an uneducated hick?”

  “Who told you that? Because that's not the impression I get when I hear you use it,” he said quietly. “It's sweet and endearing.”

  “One of my early managers suggested I learn to speak like the average person. When I was little, it was cute and acceptable. But when my character became more risqué, I needed to evolve with her. Smart and sexy, not homey and sweet. Besides, I kind of wanted to leave the Southern charm thing behind. I'm technically not even from the South.”

  “It's part of who you are, so I guess I like it for that reason alone. I get why you feel you need to hide it from everyone else, but I'm not in that category. You don't need to hide things from me.” He paused. “Unless you feel there's a good reason to, I guess, but I would hope you don't think like that. Best friends don't keep things from each other, right?”

  She nodded. “Right. In L.A., I just fall into a certain mode.”

  “We all do.”

  “Yeah, but it's different for you. You've lived around there your whole life. Fitting in comes naturally to you. For me, it took a long time to figure it out. When I was younger, I didn't care all too much. After my parents left me on my own, that changed. Without them, I was alone,” she confessed.

  Bryce shook his head. “That's not true. I've always been around.”

  Arial closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. “Our relationship was different then. We didn't start getting super close until after I turned eighteen and things started to settle more in your life. For a while, you were kind of on another planet. I get why. If my mother died, I'd be at a total loss as to what to do. The point I'm trying to make, though, is there was a time I was on my own. Every decision was something I had to make myself, and I was young and impressionable. So I dropped the accent and pulled away from home as much as possible.”

  “The accent part I get, but not leaving your family behind,” he said. “But that's because I can't imagine life without mine.”

  “I can't imagine life without mine either, but I needed to be independent. Besides, my family doesn't like me being out in California and working. Don't know if that's obvious or not yet.”

  His gaze was on her, and she shivered as if she were naked. The intensity in his eyes was so powerful that it left her vulnerable, exposed. He could see into her core, she was sure of it.

  “Arial,” he said softly. “Your family supports your love of what you do. They want you to be happy and pursue your dreams. We've talked about this before. If you're happy, they are, too. Why are you so hard on yourself when it comes to them?”

  “Because they're hard on me,” she whispered.

  He put an arm around her and pulled her in close to his chest. His body was so warm, she was certain she was melting in his touch. The steady beat of his heart calmed her.

  ****

  Bryce wanted to kiss her, if only on the forehead or cheek, just so she could realize she wasn't as alone as she thought. He held back and wasn't sure why. Something about the moment didn't seem quite right to him.

  He took in a deep breath, hoping he could convey everything he wanted to say accurately. “They're hard on you because they love you. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but they want to make sure you don't fall down. It's frustrating and hard, I know. Trust me, I go through this a lot with my brother, actually. Only he doesn't try to help me not fail. All he does is tell me all of the ways I'm already wrong, or rather, he thinks I am.”

  ****

  She rolled her eyes. “I get that they don't want me to become some crazy party girl, but I am an adult. They need to stop trying to hold me back. The only reason they want me home so badly this summer is because they don't trust me. I'm not working, so that means I'm going to get bored and start using meth in their minds. Or find some boy who's not worth my time to start dating.”

  “Are you sure it's not because they miss having you around?” he asked. His hands rested over hers, and he started to trace small circles over her skin. They'd cuddled before in the past, but nothing ever like this. Arial wasn't sure if she should try to stop him or not.

  “They want to keep me in the past,” she said. “I'm not their little girl anymore, and I'm not a country bumpkin either. My parents spend so much time trying to make sure I don't get special treatment over my siblings that I get outcast from the family even more.”

  “Which is why you didn't want me to do your chores,” he said.

  She nodded. “Basically. My sister said it to me today. I'm not normal.”

  “So?”

  “So don't you ever want to be normal?” Her eyes narrowed as her gaze met his own for a moment before she looked away. “It's kind of a rhetorical question, because I know you do. There are some things I can accept about fame. Being a role model and admired by thousands are among them. Having my sisters talk to me like I'm a freak of nature and a snob is not one of them.”

  Bryce ran his lower lip under his teeth. “I wasn't aware they did that. You always paint your family as this super-positive influence in your life. Granted, you don't talk about your siblings much.”

  “There isn't much to say because I don't see them much.”

  “Maybe that's part of the problem, then. Perhaps they just want to have a place in your life. You've been able to give your parents a slice of it, so why not them?” He gave her a sideways glance.

  Scowling, knowing he was right, she let out a soft huff. “We can't all be perfect like you.”

  He laughed. “You know I'm far from perfect. I just don't want you to make the same mistake I have.”

  “And what mistake would that be?”

  “Giving up,” he said.

  Arial scoffed. “I've never seen you quit anything.”

  He sighed and stopped tracing her hands with his own. Instead, he held her hands firmly. “My brother thinks that my priorities are off. While my mom was sick, he resented the fact that I worked so much instead of spending more time with her. He still doesn't understand that I did it all for her so that she could get the best treatment possible and be with us longer. No, I didn't stay at the house and take care of her like he had, and there were a lot of moments I did miss because of work commitments. We made the most of it all the same, she and I.”

  “I remember all of the set visits she made. Filming got a little awkward sometimes,” she said with a small laugh. “Not like we did anything together back then in those scenes, but that was when Veronica started getting all kinds of crazy on the show. I just remember seeing her there with my mom, both of them watching…” She shivered, reliving the experience all over again. They both had been there the day she'd lost her on-screen virginity. It was just a show, but she'd been embarrassed all the same.

  Bryce also laughed. A good sound to hear from him. He didn't do it that much when he talked about his mother anymore. “Right, and we took a few vacations together, too. I wanted to make sure she could do and see everything she wanted to do. He didn't think that was a good idea, but I think part of him was jealous. Even though we did all of these things together, I think he wonders if she loved me more for giving her those moments. I, of course, wonder if sh
e loved him more for being there through the harder things. I barely got there in time to say goodbye.”

  “You know she didn't love either one of you more,” Arial said. She gave his hands a squeeze.

  “The long point I'm trying to make is that you can't let your sisters scare you away from being a part of your family. My relationship with my brother is basically shot because he thinks I'm selfish. I've given up trying to prove him wrong, so now I just avoid seeing him as much as possible.”

  Arial shifted her body so she could gaze up at him. Her heart absolutely ached for him. She’d noticed a shift in how he talked about his family ever since his mother had died, but she didn't realize why. The assumption had always been that it was because he wasn't ready to talk about family things just yet. In truth, it was because he didn't have any family business to share. Outside of the fact that his father had remarried a couple of years ago, the Valentine family stories had stopped.

  She frowned. “It's not too late for you to fix things. If you tried to make him understand, I'm sure he'd listen.”

  Bryce shrugged. “I'll worry about me later. Stop ruining my heart-to-heart talk where you gain the sudden amazing revelation that your family loves you. All of them.”

  “Sounds like a cheesy television movie,” she teased and nudged him in the side. “Then, let me guess, life automatically becomes easy and perfect, and we all live happily ever after?”

  “Throw in a few bombs, too, because in my head this is an action spy flick.” He winked.

  She sighed, smiling, completely lost in his arms. He always knew how to make everything better again. The advice he had given, though unwanted, was exactly what she needed to be reminded of. Perhaps he understood better than she originally thought. He didn't know her sisters, but the sadness in his voice as he spoke about what happened to his brother was enough to make her want to try. She doubted it would help, but at least she could say she did something instead of give up. It was a shame he wasn't doing the same.

  “So is your family treating you like an outsider what you meant by consequences?” he asked.