A Slow Burning Fire Page 9

  “Back on the serious talk again?” She glanced up at him. “They've all sacrificed for me. That comes with a price on my end, too. Part of it I am paying by being here now.”

  “You really don't want to be here,” he said softly.

  “No, I don't,” she admitted. The sky was finally dark, though she missed the exact moment the sun had actually set. One by one the stars twinkled into view. “Look up,” she said.

  Bryce sucked in a deep breath. “Wow, you're right. This is humbling. I can't say I've ever seen so many stars in the sky before.”

  “Never ever?” she asked.

  “No, because I've always been too close to a city to get a good view.” He pointed up. “That's the Milky Way. I can actually see the outline of it in the sky. And over there is Cygnus, which means Pegasus is right over there!” He continued to point, and his face lit up as he spoke.

  She followed his hand, trying to see the constellations he spotted in the sky. “I didn't realize you were so interested in stars.”

  “Astronomy was one of my favorite subjects from high school, and I love mythology. I studied star charts when I was younger, thinking I'd get to see the world and I'd want to know what I saw in the sky while I did it.” He chuckled. “Little did I know I'd see the world, but not anywhere I could see so much at once. Usually only the really common bright constellations can be found. Big Dipper, Orion, that kind of thing.”

  “Big Dipper is about the only one I know on sight,” she admitted. “That and the W one.”

  “Cassiopeia.”

  “Right.”

  He stretched out his body, and she could feel his muscles tightening underneath her. “Promise me something, will you?”

  “Maybe,” she said.

  “It's not anything too crazy. I just want you to try and make the most of your time here, and see what it does to your relationship with your family. If you're unhappy, they can sense it. Try to see the good things about being here.”

  She rolled onto her stomach so she could look up at his face. “Fine, but only if you promise to call your brother and talk to him.”

  Bryce's gaze met hers and he swallowed. “I told you I don't want you to worry about me.”

  “It's only fair,” she stated.

  “Fine, you have a deal.” He shifted his weight underneath hers. “I should probably get going. Regardless of whether I'm going to be doing your chores or not, I will still be getting up early.”

  Arial rolled off him, sitting back on her knees. She watched him stand, rather reluctant to see him go. Did she do something wrong? It felt a lot like he was trying to escape from her. Maybe she'd been a little too intimate with her actions.

  She glanced down at her watch to check the time and saw it was a lot later than she expected. “Will I get to see you tomorrow?” she asked hopefully.

  He flashed his beautiful smile. “Like I could go a day without seeing you. I'm sure at some point we'll be crossing paths.”

  Letting out a small sigh of relief, Arial nodded. “Thanks for letting me —”

  “Don't thank me for listening to you. It's my pleasure. I'm glad you still trust me so much. Don't hesitate to tell me anything, Ari. Nothing you say could ever make me think differently of you.” Before she could reply, he ran off, waving farewell as he went.

  He was still smiling, and she wanted badly to believe him. Would he still say those things if he knew just how deeply her caring went? When they had moments like tonight, she couldn't help but fall even harder for him. He had a way of making her want to try things beyond her comfort zone, of making her bold. She could find a way to reconnect with her family and make things better with the courage he instilled inside of her heart. But it wasn't quite enough to give her the strength to tell him she was indeed in love with everything about him.

  Chapter Eight

  With a groan, Arial entered the shed out back. Getting up early for work wasn't the problem, but rather the kind of work she would be doing. The morning chores were divided up fairly amongst the whole family. Her father generally took on the more physically challenging jobs before he left for work, while she and her siblings did the smaller but more plentiful chores. She grabbed the grooming kit for the cows. They were her responsibility. Her sisters tended to their horses, Kieran took care of the fish in the morning, and they all did something to take care of the yard.

  She trudged over to the open barn where the cows lived and found Bryce inside already, removing piles of manure in the hay. One of the cats walked by her as she stood in the doorway, mewing loudly and giving away her presence.

  Bryce glanced over at her and put his pitchfork down. Then he pulled down a bandana from his face and a plug off his nose. To top it off, he wore thick rubber boots over his blue jeans, and his red button-down was open, exposing the muscles on his abdomen. She had to keep herself from staring. Even if she'd seen them on set, they were still a nice sight. What made it even more worthwhile, however, was that Bryce was so out of his element to the point where it was hilarious. He might have been trying to be country, but it was clear where he came from.

  Arial couldn't help but giggle at the sight. “What I wouldn’t give for a camera right now.”

  “You wouldn't dare,” he challenged.

  “Why is it fair for you to take all those pictures for yourself, but I can't take one for me?” she asked and pulled out her cell phone to snap a photo of him. “Say cheese.”

  He folded his arms in front of him and raised an eyebrow. A perfect image, and she made sure to capture it with her camera.

  “Send me a copy then,” he said. “Because I do want to document this moment of my life. Just don't post it all over the Internet.”

  She scowled, hurt by the warning. “You should know me better than that. When have I ever done anything on there? I mean, besides the obvious work-related things. People have asked me to run a social media page, but I like my private life to stay private for a lot of reasons.”

  “Just like me.” He nodded. “I was teasing you.”

  “Oh, right,” she mumbled and closed her eyes.

  “You're edgy today.”

  She attempted a casual smile but wasn't sure if she pulled it off. “It's the six-in-the-morning, no-shower-or-breakfast day I'm having.”

  Bryce relaxed his arms and set the pitchfork aside. He walked toward her and gazed down at her with eyes that were wide awake and sparkling in the sunlight streaming through the windows. “It's too early to be having such a sour attitude. I mean, the day's just starting. Don't be so quick to judge it just because of a few minor things. Besides, who wants to take a shower before working with these beauties?” He patted Jojo's haunches. “They're great ladies, but they're kind of smelly.”

  “Oh, believe me, I know. I have been where you are right now, and I do not envy your job in the slightest. At the same time, it helps wake me up.” She winked. “You're taking to this rather naturally. I'm kind of surprised.”

  “Why? Just because I'm from the city doesn't mean I'm incapable of getting down and dirty when I need to.” He gasped in mock surprise.

  She smiled and picked up the brush so she could groom the cows. Not all farmers took the time to bond with their cattle. Since there were only two of them on the family farm, it was easier to get attached to the animals. Arial liked how friendly it made the cows, which was part of the reason she had a hard time eating beef. Her new friends would eventually be taken to slaughter. While she was grateful for the sacrifice and all they provided, they were still her friends just like the bond she had with the dog and cat. Jojo and Pieces were just like any other family pet to her.

  With a shrug, she brushed the cow in slow, smooth strokes. “Some people have it in their blood to do this kind of rough work. Other people, not so much. You've always been a hard worker and willing to take on any challenge presented to you, no doubt about it. And you've never been afraid of getting messy. At the same time, you've only lived in the suburbs. The most complicated animal
you've ever cared for is a cat. You're usually more into being stylish and suave than…” She gestured at his outfit. “It took me by surprise, that's all. Maybe the country is a little in your blood after all.”

  “Maybe I want it to be if it's not,” he said. His hand ran over Jojo's fur. “I can see why you get attached to them. They're fascinating. Pieces licked me today. I had no idea they had scratchy tongues.”

  She laughed. That was such a city thing of him to say, and adorable. Just the fact that he wanted to try so hard in the first place was sweet. When Bryce committed to something, though, he did it with one-hundred-and-ten percent of everything he had to offer. What she couldn't tell was how long the devotion would last. Would he stick around for the full summer or get bored and want to move on? She knew him well enough to know he liked a lot of spontaneity and variety. For a long time, she was surprised he stayed on the show for its entire run. He'd told her many times he wanted to see what else was out there for him. Ohio could have been just another random adventure for him to try.

  “Why are you here, Bryce?” she asked, setting the brush down.

  He rubbed at his arms slowly. “You asked me to come, remember? It was your suggestion.”

  “But why did you agree to come?”

  ****

  Bryce was having a hard time looking her in the eyes. Not because he had anything to hide, but because she had this way of making him feel weak in the knees and all kinds of vulnerable. He'd spent a good deal of the past few days rebuilding a lot of his strength from when his life had been turned upside down. One look, and she'd have him back at the beginning again. So he looked everywhere but at her face.

  “I agreed with you when you said it might be a good thing for me. It is. Being here has been exactly what I've needed for quite some time. What I want to know is why you care so much,” he said.

  ****

  Arial blinked, startled. “What do you mean? Why do I care so much? Because you're my best friend. Of course I care about you and —”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “Why are you so concerned with my reasons? It's like you're doubting I would be here for another reason besides wanting to be with you.”

  She swallowed and lifted the brush again, needing the repetitive motion to distract her from spouting off something else before thinking. Finally, she found the right words.

  “I only wanted to make sure you were getting the most of your visit. While you may be doing the chores with the rest of us, you are still a guest. I wasn't sure how long you would be gracing us with your presence.”

  Bryce snorted softly. “I'll be here as long as you are.”

  “I guess I'm trying to figure out what you're getting from all of this,” she admitted. She made sure to flash him a smile. “Outside of the pleasure of my company, of course.”

  Laughing quietly, he ran a hand through his sandy blond hair. “Fresh air, sunshine, and privacy, to name a few. But I'm also getting to know my best friend in a whole new way. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like we've met for the first time all over again. Everything looks different here, including myself.”

  She nodded. “Perspective basically.”

  “My soul, Ari. I want to remember what it feels like to have one, and I am.”

  “You've always had a soul. You're one of the most grounded people I've ever met in the business,” she protested.

  “Remember what we talked about with people not understanding our way of life, and so it makes us come across as something we're not? Every time I put up a front to anyone, it eats away at my soul.” He tapped his chest. “Grounded or not, I want to be ready to feel again. Losing Katie made me see how much of my emotions I've pushed away. Because regardless of whether it was a good thing or not, I don't like how there's no hole left in my heart from the spot she used to claim.”

  Arial wasn't sure how to interpret that statement. There was no way he could have been in a relationship with someone like Katie for long and not feel any kind of sadness over it being over. She remembered how he had expressed relief over the breakup, but he'd said so many things that were confusing to her.

  “I see,” she said. The temptation to ask him about it further was there, but she held back. Bryce clearly had things he needed to work through emotionally. That must have been the point he was trying to make more than anything. Whatever was going on with his feelings for Katie wasn't Arial's business anyway. The woman was his ex, and the reasons behind the breakup might have been over some kind of misunderstanding anyway. A lot of details were being left out whenever he spoke about it. Not including his drunken ramble, of course, but he had said to ignore everything from that night to begin with. And for the most part she did, but when he started talking about his love life, that was easier said than done.

  ****

  For a few seconds, he stared at her, his eyes narrowed slightly. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

  Disappointment filled him. He'd just poured out a deep part of himself to her, one he was afraid of talking about with anyone. All she had to say was “I see.” Maybe he was wrong about the direction of their friendship after all. Perhaps they would always be just friends. There was a lot more he wanted to say to her about Katie, her, everything, but he kept his mouth shut. Instead he smiled his perfect smile and started to clean up after himself.

  It was probably for the better they didn't talk then anyway. He didn't want to admit to having deep feelings for her while covered in cow poop.

  Chapter Nine

  At the end of the day, Arial was exhausted. Going back to a set schedule that involved early mornings would take a little bit for her to get used to. Thankfully, she wasn't too out of practice given all of the early set times she'd had for the show. Once the chores were done, she enjoyed a quiet day of reading out by the garden. Bryce had done a few more things around the yard to help her father out before going back to the Henderlites’ to help them with something or other. He hadn't been all too specific, and she had the feeling that he was purposely trying to avoid her. Ever since their conversation in the barn, he'd been off. She made a note to steer away from the topic of Katie for a while.

  A roll of thunder pulled her away from her book. When she gazed up at the sky, she saw a mass of black clouds making their way towards her. It would be a big storm. Those were not something she was used to. Not when the weather was as close to perfect as possible while she lived in Los Angeles. She could barely remember the last violent thunderstorm she had been in. It had been a summer she spent on the farm almost ten years ago. Had it really been that long?

  She shook her head and went back inside before the clouds were over her head.

  “You seemed rather engrossed in that book,” Tiffany commented from the living room couch.

  Arial hesitantly took a seat in a nearby chair. She had yet to try and bond with any of her sisters since she'd come home. They seemed to be so much harder to win over than anyone else in the house. Nadine was the one she got along with best. They were closest in age, and now that her sister was also out on her own she understood a lot more of how Arial felt about living as an independent adult. Caroline, on the other hand, seemed to hold the worst grudge, almost as if Arial had committed some kind of an unforgivable sin against her. Tiffany fell somewhere in between the two. Some days she was happy with Arial, and other days she gave her the cold shoulder.

  Flipping the book in her hands, she glanced outside at the rain starting to pour down over the barn. “It's a good read so far. A good mix of all the things I like,” she said. “The animals are all inside, right? There's a storm.”

  Tiffany changed the channel on the television with the remote. “They're fine. Kieran and Bryce made sure they got taken care of about an hour ago, as soon as Mama told them the weather report.”

  Unsure of what to say, Arial nodded.

  “Are you reading for pleasure or work?” Tiffany asked.

  “Pleasure,” Arial said softly. It wasn't something she got to do often. There were talks of t
he book eventually being made into a film that might involve her, but she had wanted to read it long before hearing the news. That wasn't something she could share with her sister, however. The less she talked about work and California, the better.

  Tiffany gave her a slight nod. Thunder cracked, startling Arial, which in turn caused her sister to laugh. “It's nothin' scary. Just some rain.”

  “I know.” Arial glowered. “It can still surprise me if I'm not expecting it!”

  Her sister giggled some more. Arial had to hold back from glaring. When was the last time she'd heard Tiffany laugh because of something she'd done? Had there ever been a time? Her interactions with Tiffany and Kieran were the most limited. They had been born after she started working in the business, and she'd been far too busy to bond with them when they'd lived out there, too. Plus it was hard for a young teenage girl to want to spend time with a couple of toddlers. She hadn't been mature enough to appreciate them. It made the disconnect that much greater. How was she supposed to make up for a lifetime of moments over one summer? It wasn't fair of her parents to put that kind of pressure on her.

  Both of them fell silent, and Arial listened to the quiet talking coming from the television as well as the rain beginning to beat down on the room. She gazed out the window, watching the downpour and the occasional lightning strike off in the distance. Just as she was about to go back to reading her book, she noticed Tiffany staring at her.

  “Hmm?” she asked, not wanting to let on just how uncomfortable the gaze made her.

  Tiffany chewed on her lower lip. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why do you hate bein’ here so much?”

  Arial blinked and stared. “I don't.”

  “Yes, you do,” Tiffany insisted. “I just want to understand why. You're not the only one. Nadine does, too. We hardly see her anymore now that she's in college.”

  How do I even begin to explain this? she wondered. “The truth is, I feel like I've slammed on my brakes in the middle of the highway. My life is a car driving sixty-some miles an hour down the road, and then it stops suddenly. It jolts you, changes everything going on around you. Hate isn't the word I would use to describe how I feel when I'm here. Uncomfortable and unfulfilled, maybe, but I don't hate home.”